Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Gone Fishin'

I'd like to thank everyone who indulged me by allowing me the opportunity to vent the other day. I didn't really mean to mount the pity pot, and I sure as hell wasn't fishing for compliments, but I do want to say thank you to all of you who were so kind and so full of positive reinforcement.

While I thought I had put forward an honest assessment of how I was dealing or not dealing, as the case may be, with incipient old age, it seems what resonated most was the fact that I thought my drawing power was diminishing.

It's a fact. It is.

Does it matter in the long run? Absolutely not. I'm not the type to cry over old photo albums, mourning my lost youth. I don't have any photo albums, anyway. I've led a remarkably undocumented life, photograph-wise, which seems rare in this day and age. And if I keep forgetting my sexy little Canon SD-450 camera, it looks like this trend will continue.

As I've mentioned before, I have whole-heartedly embraced the person I've become. After all, I am Superdaddy (thank you Teddy, wherever you are), and I will defend that title to the death, or at least on-coming senility.

To that end, I did what any other self-respecting middle-aged gay man would do. I hired a trainer. Again. It's been a few years since I've worked out with a trainer. I hadn't actively thought about doing this. In fact, I was trying to avoid doing it. But I was approached a couple of Sundays ago while sitting on a Nautilus machine by Evaristo, a clever trainer-on-the-go, who offered a free workout with him. It seemed serendipitous, and I took him up on his offer. We worked out this past Sunday, and may I say that two days later everything still hurts? Big time. I'm shocked. I hit the gym three or four times a week, and clearly, I'm just massaging my muscles much the way Japanese farmer massage their Kobe cattle. I'm just been pushing the fat around. This man killed me. We did mostly floor work on the mat, and some stuff with cables. I was out of breath and scarlet in no time, sweat running off me like a river. So I hired him. I'm seeing him twice a week for the next 2-1/2 months. My goals are simple. I just want to fit into my old clothes. I have a small fortune invested in tight t-shirts. And it wouldn't hurt if I was happy with the way I look in a wife beater by the time I head to Provincetown.

Shallow? Who? Me?


Anonymous Mike P. said...

Is he hot?
Just curious.
That would definitely motivate me to see him on a regular basis.
But, good for you on taking care of yourself.

I still think you're super-woofy either way.

When he tells you to do things...
Do you say...
"Yes... sir."

Cause if you do...

That'd be hot.

Hee hee hee.

I'm just sayin'

2:36 PM  
Blogger Mr. H.K. said...

Good luck with all that! Before and after pics, please?

4:59 PM  
Anonymous stephen said...

so...where will you be hanging out on pride weekend? :)

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Eric said...

Depth is wildly overrated.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous marlan said...

Wearing a wife beater and what else?

10:33 PM  
Blogger David said...

Shallow? Nah, focused.

I had a free trainer workout when I recently joined Crunch and while the guy said I was in great shape, he led me through a kick-ass workout. The weights weren't very heavy but he really mixed things up and kept me moving. I too was sweating and I felt like every muscle got bitch-slapped.

I can't really afford it but I've decided I will train with him once a month to shock my body. I can't wait.

You are going to be super-super-daddy.

11:37 AM  
Blogger palochi said...

Speaking as someone who's also gone through a similar "middle age fitness crisis", I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much this will make you feel better about yourself. I was never (ever) a serious gym type myself until getting with a trainer almost two months ago now. It's one of the few commitments I've ever made in my life that I haven't regretted. The main thing to keep in mind is to stick with the training for yourself. Don't think of it as spending money on a trainer, think of it as an investment in your personal well-being. You're doing something challenging (and sometimes frustrating and painful), but it's an admirable and healthy venture. Anything else resulting from it (increased head turning powers and the ability to beat wives... er, wear a wifebeater) is purely for enjoyment.

Also, I highly recommend Ben-Gay patches. They're what got me through the first couple of weeks. That, and lots and lots of stretching before and after. Ask your trainer to show you the stretching stuff. It helps immensely in making your life bearable (no pun intended) during the initial weeks. Bending your arms without wanting to weep like Teri Hatcher is an important part of life, I think.

(Oh Zod. I just realized I've become one of those guys I can't ever stand to be around -- optimistic about working out and the effects it can have on your life. Kill me now.)

Very proud of you, Mark. Looking forward to my head turning your way at GB:NYC3 and watching others do the same. First beer is on me, stud. :-)

12:20 PM  
Blogger MEK the Bear said...

I'm working on getting myself to the gym next week, I'll start on this weekend and hopefully will have a membership and a trainer myself by next week.

Seeing how I got people all wanting to make me a pop star and all, I'll have to look my best!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Babsbitchin said...

Jeez, it just goes to prove my point that ALL the good looking men are gay.Having a trainer is the ticket. I'd love to have that opt but I keep telling myself that this year,"fats where it's at and thin just ain't in." Good luck and when my son comes up this summer, we plan on hitting all the gay bars in the Village. I just may see you there.

11:29 PM  

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