Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Spring Fever

At first I thought it was just a touch of blogging boredom, but I now recognize it for what it is...Spring Fever.

I don't want to be at my desk. I don't want to work. I don't want to be in this building. I don't want to talk on the phone.

I want to be outside.

I foresee this condition getting much worse as the week progresses. 60 degree temperatures are predicted for the weekend. By that point, I'll be looking forward to an unbridled romp on, I mean, with my boyfriend.

See what I mean?

Cold as it was last weekend, I could sense spring in the air. On our way out to dinner last Saturday evening, I stopped on 11th Street to admire a group of Snowdrops blooming in a tree well. As I loomed over them under the street lamp I could hear Tim ahead of me muttering "Mad Russian", and shaking his head.

The next day, as a I walked across town, I took a floral inventory of the Callery and Bradford pears starting to bud, the Iris Reticulata in full bloom, the Snowdrops, the Pansies. Yep, nature and I were pretty much in synch.

Of course, I forgot all about the flora when I got to the Dugout, which was surprisingly full for an Academy Awards night. Years ago in San Francisco, Tim and I headed out to all the local haunts normally packed on Sunday afternoons, and watched as the crowds dispersed and frittered off to watch the awards show. Soon, it was just us and the bartenders wherever we went. I know now to check the calendar when making travel plans.

Sunday, I had a conversation with a friend whose relationship of some years seemed to be drawing to a close. I know how difficult it can be, especially in your 40's, to pick yourself up out of the wreckage of a failed long-time relationship, and get on with your life. My friend was doubly upset, as he also felt that he his life as a gay man was over. I asked his age, and then pointed out that I was 10 years older.

Ageism is so profound in our uh, community. It's always startling to find it cropping in our media, in our bars and clubs, in our gyms, on our blogs, in fact just about anywhere one turns. I suppose as the current generation ages, this will change. As we know, there's not much of an existing generation of 50-65 year old men who are out and about. Role models are few and far between. But time stands still for no one, and the new crop of soon-to-be-middle-aged men will have the opportunity to examine and possibly rectify the situation. One can hope, anyway.

It saddens me that someone can feel their life is over at 42. It just gives me more impetus to head out there and let people know you don't have to lay down and die. I'll be the fucking torch-bearer for the cause, if I have to. Dammit.

Anyway, it was a pretty nice evening, all in all. I got compared to George Clooney (remind me to get a haircut, please) and met a handsome red-headed Aussie, whom I ran into again at Big Lug on Tuesday night.

Spring Fever indeed.


Blogger seymour said...

Show 'em how to get their horny dad action happenning Mark!

2:20 AM  
Anonymous Aaron said...

Damn it. I runted when I should have lugged!

7:26 AM  
Blogger Joe said...

Just what I was thinking Aaron.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Drew said...

Curious to have found myself here at your blog today! 49...turning 50 in December...and in the processing of ending a 24-year relationship (couldn't even stick around for the silver...oh, already have ENOUGH of that!). He's 56, and had been a in a few relationships before me, but this was my "big" one. But still excited about what's yet to come, and as my friends tell me, "you won't be single for long..." Not sure I care, since it's been a long time coming to get to know myself on my own terms. Thank you for the thoughtful commentary on ageism! Very interesting.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous bryce said...

Even though you are older than me, I never feel like the gap is that wide.

I certainly find more things to talk to you about than the average 34 year old.

3:55 PM  
Blogger Mr. H.K. said...

Where's you get that nice photo of me?

Have a great weekend, Mark!


Mr. H.K.
Postcards from Hell's

And I Quote Blog

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Thom said...

I totally agree with you about the ageism in the gay community. The emphasis on youth can get to be ridiculous. At 46, it both amuses and annoys me that I find myself sometimes considered a relic!

6:11 PM  
Blogger Bigg said...

You will absolutely be my torchbearer, Mark -- after all, I'm not (quite!) to the big four-oh yet, and I often feel like it's too late for me.

12:37 AM  
Blogger Gareth said...

As I always say, the best sex I have had has always been with the older man. They rule.

3:22 PM  

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