Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Pink Moon

A small black dog has stopped by for a visit, and seems to be taking it's sweet time leaving.

In deference to those who suffer greatly from depression, I must clarify, keeping things in proportion, that I'm basically suffering a small malaise. You know, the usual things: the basic and ultimate futility of life, the consequences of aging, a lingering IRS problem that just won't resolve itself, people dying. Like I said, the usual.

It took me years to realize that I actually wasn't a depressed person. In fact, I'm basically a stupid optimist in the face of reality. I will admit to fairly constant anxiety, which, after experiencing the panic attack from hell in San Francisco some years ago, I learned to treat with a clever prescription taken once daily.

Last night I felt the need to apologize to Tim for "just not being myself" lately. He agreed with me. I'm not myself. And I just have to fuckin' snap out of it. This is supposed to be my favorite time of year, after all.

I know if I focus on the holidays, and their attendant social functions, I can force myself out of the inertia I'm feeling. A vacation would be really cool, but I basically don't have anything I can plan until April.

Something's gotta give.

4 Comments:

Blogger seymour said...

hey handsome
welcome back fella.... I hope you had a good birthday too.
You know youre welcome downunder anytime Mark.
mega hugs
xxx

4:47 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Oooh, I feels ya on this one big guy. Try a day trip to Atlantic City or something equally whimsical. Hey! Let's go to Scores! We'll stop at the bank and get lots of singles.

10:46 AM  
Blogger David said...

Sorry to hear about the mini-labrador. I have no frame of reference, but singing really loud to the stereo often serves as a great pick me up. And it doesn't involve using any vacation days.

11:42 AM  
Blogger farmboyz said...

Me too.
It's like I'm treading water, and not really minding it.
I seem to have no "to do" list.
Therefore, tomorrow I fly to Fort Lauderdale.
Perhaps that is the tonic I need.

8:15 PM  

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